Dear world

I've come to this gradual realization. Focus, determination, discipline. These are things that I should strive to achieve yet have not. The thing is, to achieve this requires a two way communication- grace, and will.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry for my lack of discipline. I'm tempted by fun, by the supposed freedom of living as I please. But the truth is, discipline brings the greatest freedom, as paradoxical as it sounds.

SO

I'm actually really angry at you and at myself and Iamnothappy!!

WHY?? Why did I ever believe any of the lies you spin? Why is it you abuse the trust people place in you?? But then again, WHY DO I TRUST YOU??

You're a bleeding vampire thats what. The whole, oh-i-attract-my-prey concept.

Was i stupid? i saw you blatantly lie to me once and just dismissed it when really, it was a serious matter.

How can you be so fake? how can your actions so utterly contradict your words, what people think of you, what I thought of you?

AND OTHER THAN THAT I should be studying but I don't want to. I wanted to use my nice CD and play around with the physiology, but no, macbook clearly does not cater for physiology CDs.

I don't want to study. I don't want to study. I DON'T WANT TO STUDY.

I'm such a rebellious angsty 18 year old. OH MY MY did i just announce my age on the cybernet. COME STALK ME.

I do not want to think of all this. It is most unapt.

I feel like a tantrum or a cry. eenie meenie minie. Spoil it, spoil it all.

Footprint. STOMP.

I absolutely don't know how to talk to you. But I don't have to.

And actually, I don't even know what I want. If I don't study, then what would I do? If I do study, I can't focus. I don't even know why I'm studying what I'm studying, there appears to be no apparent purpose for learning all this physiology.

I'm on the verge of a psychological breakdown in the most lenient of sense.

Betcha never saw this side of me now huh world. HAIYAH! *karate kick*